Preparations for a Pilgrimage to Arkansas

It has been a week since my brother passed.  I'm slowly losing my 'hold it together/bumping into walls' feeling.  He's on my mind so often now. He's no longer just in Arkansas.  I guess it's no surprise actually; for me, he always seemed bigger than life.

His daughters posted his obituary on Facebook this week.  It caught me by surprise to see him smiling at me from my phone.  It's a later picture of him.  Still so handsome, and laughing as he often was.  God he was funny.  Easily the funniest man I've ever known.

One time years ago when I was ranting about something over the phone he stopped me in my tracks when he said, in his slow drawl ... Sissy, you're just like six pissed off snakes all tied together right now, aren't you? 


Yep.  That I was.  And each time I get that way, I eventually smile.

Downtown Eureka.  I helped him roof that hotel.

I'm making the trek to Arkansas for his memorial service next week.  Flight is booked.  Guest room reserved.  Eureka Springs bound again.

Aerial view

We all grew up in Houston.  Johnny left for Austin in his hippie days.  Then Kansas City with his first wife, Nancy, the mother of his children.  Loved her.  She left this realm awhile ago and is deeply missed.

He eventually relocated to the Eureka Springs area.  He and I shared a love for beautiful places. His daughters are fortunate to have grown up there, in the Natural State.

While I was back in Houston for a few years, I visited often, and even lived there for two months -with him, Brenda,and four daughters - before returning to California.

He hired me to help him with roofing.  I stood on top of that hotel in downtown Eureka, with a tool belt slung around my hips, and watched young men walk by down below.  And whistled.  Yep, I did. 



His daughters are arranging for the service and offering accommodations for my sisters and their families coming in from Houston.  We are looking forward to getting together.  And of course, we wish it were under different circumstances.

Johnny last Christmas with 3 daughters and grandkids

 

My co-workers gave me a card.

 And once again, I find myself in deep appreciation for how the loss of a loved one tends to pull together some big love.  My friend Ellen lost her dad this week.  As she so eloquently put it, " ... makes me feel that the whole world has built a strong and supportive connection directly to my mind and heart."  Exactly.

 And meanwhile, my girls patiently wait for fun times again.

Soon!